Recently, a conversation kicked off a musing to a fundamental question: In the grand narrative of life, are we more defined by the circumstances of our birth or by the paths we carve out through our own choices? This question, seemingly simple, resonates profoundly with me, reflecting the journeys of many who have overcome the odds. During this conversation, I’d experienced a moment where my background seemed to overshadow my accomplishments, challenging my long-held belief that where we come from doesn’t determine our worth. But despite this, I continue to believe that our true value lies in our actions and choices, not our origins.

I was raised in a modest environment, where wealth was never about financial abundance but about the richness of character and spirit.

Our home lacked material luxuries, but we were wealthy in something far more valuable – a steadfast belief in the transformative power of education.

My parents, without the benefit of formal education themselves, were committed to setting us on a path of learning, one they had never had the opportunity to explore. They instilled in us ambition, drive, grit, a strong work ethic, and the belief that we could achieve anything we set our minds to.

As I navigated through different walks of life, I encountered a spectrum of perspectives. In the world of the ultra-wealthy, like Howard Schultz who grew up in a housing complex and later transformed Starbucks into a global name, I saw an understanding that one’s origins do not predestine their future. Success, as his story illustrates, is shaped by vision and determination, not predetermined by one’s starting point.

In contrast, among circles where wealth is in the throes of being built, perhaps there’s a heightened emphasis on lineage and status?

This is a realm relatively new to me, one where I’m still gaining exposure and understanding. Here, the pedigree, including the educational background of one’s parents, often takes an unexpectedly prominent role in how individuals are perceived and valued. It’s a curious emphasis that I’m still grappling to understand.

These recent interactions have led me to ponder deeply. Why does the level of education my parents attained hold such weight in these circles? My parents’ journey, their struggles and triumphs, form a significant part of my identity. Yet, I often find myself wishing that it was their character, their resilience, and the values they’ve instilled in me that defined this identity, rather than the circumstances of their birth or the formal education they couldn’t attain.

It’s a striking realization – that in some spheres, the accomplishments and qualities of an individual can sometimes be overshadowed by the perceived status of their family. This is a stark contrast to my belief that one’s background should be a secondary consideration to their character and achievements. It challenges me to navigate these new experiences with an open mind, while still holding firm to the conviction that the essence of a person, including myself, should be measured by the traits and values inherited from their upbringing, not merely the socioeconomic status they were born into.

In my relationships, especially in dating men from what you might consider ultra-wealthy backgrounds – including one whose past included a relationship with a Princess of a country, came from an extremely affluent family and who had launched a global e-commerce business – I never felt diminished by my modest background. It’s both a peculiar and intriguing observation that in the echelons of such high status, the importance of whether others possess similar levels of wealth or status seems to diminish significantly. This stands in stark contrast to where wealth was still being built and lineage and educational backgrounds were heavily emphasized.

It’s as if once a certain pinnacle of success and affluence is reached, the need to validate one’s status through the background of others lessens, revealing a different set of social dynamics and priorities.

In these relationships and encounters, I’ve pondered whether, subconsciously, I also place importance on societal hierarchies. It’s a humbling thought, reflecting that despite our best intentions, we might still be influenced by the very structures we question.

Yet, in my personal experience, I’ve often never been judged for my parents’ humble origins. Instead, I’ve always taken immense pride in their extraordinary resilience and strength. My father, as a war refugee, bravely navigated a new life in a country where he didn’t know the language, working tirelessly to provide a home and educational opportunities for us, the kind he never had. My mother’s story is equally inspiring. She came to Canada under similarly challenging circumstances. I remember her applying for jobs without even knowing the language, a testament to her remarkable courage and determination. Her willingness to face such daunting challenges head-on for our family’s well-being has always been a profound source of inspiration for me. Had they merely accepted and lived within the confines of their birth circumstances, their stories, and consequently mine, would have unfolded in starkly different chapters.

If we were to only ever mingle within our own echelons of birth and status, how would anyone ever ascend to wealth, since every story of success invariably begins with a first step from somewhere humble?

I’ve said this many times before, but I stand on the shoulders of giants. It was because of them that I could achieve what I have to date. My path led me into private equity, to becoming the youngest exec at 29, being named an early achievement recipient of CPA Canada, and eventually to taking a CFO role for an individual listed in Time’s 100 Most Influential People, working with some of the world’s most powerful foundations. While I may be just a ‘smudge’ compared to these giants, I find inspiring parallels in our stories.

This reflection reinforced my conviction and belief: our lives are not measured by our birth circumstances but by the courage, resilience, and choices we make along our journey. Whether starting from scarcity or abundance, it’s our unwavering dedication to our dreams that sculpts our life.

In life’s grand theater, where some scenes are pre-set and others are ours to script, many compelling stories are those where individuals, against all odds, seize control to redefine their destiny.

It’s in these acts of defiance and creation that we truly define ourselves, transcending birth and circumstance to write narratives of hope, resilience, and enduring triumph.